You Can't Read My Mind

I had an awesome time in class this semester! I'll keep posting...if I remember. Maybe I'll let y'all know if I read any good books this summer. :)

Always,
Tasha :)

So, I read that interview with Katherine Dunn on her story. It really gave me a lot of things to think about. It was also somewhat helpful in finding a topic for my final paper (although I'm not there yet). What I thought was really interesting was how she found that many people had different interpretations of the meaning behind Geek Love. For instance, she heard that gay and lesbians felt it was a metaphor for all outsiders. It's so true with everything we read...we analyze it and make meaning of it. Everybody has their own interpretation and self-generated meaning to a story. It made me think of me and my sister. She writes poetry...a lot of poetry. And it is all really good and beautifully written. I constantly ask her what it all means and I also give her what I think her poems mean. But I'm never really right or wrong. I guess it is what I am supposed to do...think about it, but there is never one perfect interpretation. Whenever I tell her what I think she kind of smirks as if she is trying to keep a secret...she never really tells me exactly what she intended to write about. That is the enjoyment of reading some forms of literature I guess.

I'm almost finished Geek Love...it's taking me a while becuase I'm reading in between my busy schedule packed with work and school. Hopefully, I'll be finished by tomorrow.

So some thoughts before I finish...Wow. Where to begin? The relationships in this book are extremely dynamic. The siblings are so interesting...I have grown to really like the twins. I feel sorry for them...especially becuase Elly has become such dead weight for Iphy. I totally despise Arty for making their lives miserable by "giving" them to the bag man and then leading them to pregnancy. Sure, they are complete prostitutes (as we have read of them selling themselves to customers), but Arty took control of them and turned their lives around. Motherhood has changed them completely and they aren't as spunky as they used to be. I'm scared Iphy (and Elly if she "comes back" as Chick thinks they are) are going to do something vicious to Arty. He deserves it...as horrible as that sounds. He is so protective, it's rediculous.

I can't help but feel sorry for every sibling. Olly is pushed around by everyone, even though she likes to be. It's the only way she ever gets attention. The twins...I already mentioned before. Arty pushes everyone away from him, even though (I think) he only wants to be closer. Money and fame are more important to him than his family. And Chick is an eleven year old boy with responsiblities of a thirty year old man. It is sick and twisted how they try to break outside of their family for love, but the only place where it is ulitimately acceptable for them to get it is from their family. Their entire lives have been caged in this carnival...they even mention how they never see movies or watch television at one point, later on, in the book. All they ever know is competing between one-another. They live in a traveling bubble of oddities and deception.

So, as I was watching the movie in class today, I was especially intrigued by the dinner scene. It seemed as though the non"norms" were disapproving of Cleo from the beginning. Everyone knew that she did not love Hans. So why did they not protest to the two getting married? Did anyone think it was fishy that this, obviously, joke of a relationship was taken to the extreme and not genuine?
Also, I understand why some people may have taken offense to some of the negative connotations made during the film. They made the "freaks" out to be disgusting and vicious people (especially during the scene in the end where they "create" the new Cleo). I truly felt that most of the characters were loveable until that scene. Why didn't they just kick Cleo off the wagon? Anyway, the movie made me laugh and made a good statement, for the most part. We see and hear about acceptance issues constantly throughout our society and history. It even happens between normal people and those who are "freaks". It is a shame that our differences cause such a stir.

First of all, as weird as this book is, I must say I am truly enjoying it. I thought, before I get carried away and read the entire thing before posting and forgetting some thoughts, that i would stop at the 100-page mark and make one comment...

One main thing I've noticed: lots of green. We see a lot of green in Miranda's apartment and in the Binewski's van and in other random places. A connection has not yet been made for me here because I haven't taken a deep look and gone back to re-read, but I know there's something there. Also, al lot of the foods mentioned are green (I remember olives and artichokes for a few examples). Even chapter #7 is titled "Green--as in arsenic, tarnished spoons, and gas-chamber doors". One of the only broad generalizations that I can make thus far about the green-ness is that most of the characters have a jealous streak (especially Arturo).

So, I finished V before our class on Tuesday, but didn't have the time to post any comments about it. I know it is such a general statement to make, but I was confused after finishing. I didn't get many questions answered afterwards. For instance, WHO IS V? I know it would probably loose some of what intrigued us throughout the book if we found out, but it KILLS me to not know his identity. Also, what is his relationship to Evey? Why did he seek her out in the beginning and carry her throughout? Was it just so that he had someone to take his place when he passed? I think I need to go back and read some parts again or read the whole thing again to get a better understanding of the whole story. Anyway, the parts I did get were pretty good and interestingly paired with awesome artwork.

Hopefully, I will make it out to see the movie within the next week or so. Comparing movies with books is always fun, but the books are almost always better.

Strength through purity. Purity through faith.

Almost immediately in "V for Vendetta", we are introduced to this sign with the words, "Strength in purity. Purity through faith.", and at the bottom in a cross with wings. On page 11, we see Evey about to be raped and murdered in front of this sign by the fingermen. It is ironic to have such a religious sign, and yet, such a sacrilegious act taking place in the same cell of the book. That is why we begin to wonder about the meaning of this sign. Shortly thereafter, we discover what a tainted and unfaithful world it is in "V for Vendetta".

The next time we see this sign is much later in the story (page 105). In this scene, Rosemary is reflecting on her relationship with her recently deceased, abusive husband (Derek). The monologue here is also combined into a scene of the character V breaking into an old movie theater, stealing a movie poster, and then vandalizing this set of words and cross with his black "V" symbol. This scene could be taken a number of ways. V chooses to take a movie poster rather than this sign. He barely even acknowledges the sign until he defaces it. What kind of a statement is he making here? This decision between the two could symbolize rebellion against religion or faith (much like 16th century’s Guy Fawke’s rebellion against the Protestant religion and King James). Here, it seemed as though he had a very easy decision to make. The poster he steals is from a movie called “The Salt Flats”. This is not a real movie, but salt flats are also known as playa, “extremely flat, smooth, and hard surfaces of playas make them ideal surfaces for driving motor vehicles on. Large-sized playas are further excellent spots for pursuing land speed records, as the smoothness of the surface allows low-clearance vehicles to travel very fast without risk of disruption by surface irregularities, and the course of travel does not need to be too precise to avoid obstacles” (www.wikipedia.org/wiki/playa ). Now, this could be a stretch, but the playa could possibly be V’s choice to make a journey towards anarchy (the course with little “obstacles”). As we have discussed in class, cars could symbolize the vehicles for change. We already know that V is on a mission, and maybe these pictures are shown to emphasize where he stands (which is the opposite direction of religion and the fascist government which exists in this story).

Also, because Rosemary is reflecting on her marriage to Derek and beginning to let go of her relationship with him (the “grubby, broken cinema” 105), she says, “All I can do is pack away all the things I remember…we’ve all got to just carry on. That’s how we survive” (105). It is hard to determine whether or not she is making a choice between religion and anti-religion, but she is almost certainly making the decision to let go of the false sense of faith in her marriage.

Another instance where the “Strength…” sign appears is on page 148 of “V for Vendetta”. In this scene, Evey is imprisoned and glares up to see the sign. Obviously in a state of despair, Evey has a difficult time remaining positive at all. We hear many people (in real life) speak of how their faith or religion guides them through the despair of such circumstances. By the actions and words of Evey, we know as readers that only her faith in V is what releases her from imprisonment, and not the government-run religion in their society. With little strength, Evey feels alone, “There’s four walls, two windows with six bars…and there’s me…” (149). The appeal or reassurance that many people find with religions is not evident in Evey’s world.

Finally, we do not see the “Strength…” sign, but we see an obvious cross on page 188. The cross, to many modern-day Christians, symbolizes the crucifixion of Jesus although it did not always have such meaning. “The first crucifixion scenes didn't appear in Christian art until the 7th century CE” (www.religioustolerance.org). The cross symbols are among the oldest on earth, and are found in every culture. Crosses are almost invariably symbols of the sun, the sky, and the passage of time, and are linked with most solar deities. A little girl is pictured in this scene under a surveillance system, which looks like a cross in certain cells. The combination of these two could possibly symbolize the control of religion by the government in this English society. The cross has no effect on the little girl’s consciousness probably because faith is so closely tied to the citizens’ connection to their government. In one cell, she is looking up towards the sky, and in the next she is looking down towards the ground. This repeats. It is almost as if she is looking away and ignoring the cross, which usually serves as a reminder as Christians of their faith. Again, a rebellion against the religion is encountered here when the child decides to vandalize the streets with curse words (Bullocks) as she also swears towards authorities verbally. All purity and innocence is lost at this point…she is no longer being watched by God or by the government. She also spray-paints “V” on the brick wall in the background. Her faith in V’s consistency persuades her to choose what he is advocating.

There is a major anti-religion undertone in the graphic novel, “V for Vendetta”. It is obvious through the irony of the presence of this sign and with the symbol of the cross during desperate times. In no way does religion effect the characters in the story, not even unconsciously, which is sad. In such a society, all meaning of faith is lost when government tries to fuse with the church. I feel this is the authors’ way of stating that government and church should be separate, although at some times they are not. Obvious symbolism shows these views throughout the story.

I notice, while reading this graphic novel, that there is a constant theme of mistreatment towards women. Women in V for Vendetta are, obviously, taken for granted by most men in the story. Evey is hurt and put down from the moment we are introduced to her. She feels the need for love and affection from men because of the abuse that she has taken most of her life. We see this especially when she falls in love with V (or so it seems to me she loves him). She desires to know and have him admire and want her the same way she does towards him. After she exibits these feelings towards him, she is rejected and, literally, left in the streets. The only man that had any true feelings for her, Gordon, is killed. The women in this story are portrayed as helpless, useless, and only good for men's pleasure. For instance, we see women in the Kitty Kat club...being goggled-over by men. There is a clip from a television show at one point...the woman is stupid and they make reference to her figure. Derek's wife, Rosemary, is beaten repeated and verbally abused by him. Derek says to her, "If we don't sleep together ilke we used to it's nothing to do with me. Maybe if you took the time to make yourself more attractive...", as if their problems are all because of her. Maybe the whole undertone of the story (as far as I have read) is negative, but it seems as though there is an extremely negative point of view on women. The authors are really making a statement, I feel, about mysoginists here.

I really agree with the statements that were made in class yesterday about the graphic novel allowing the reader to use both the left and right sides of the brain. I feel constantly stimulated when reading V, mostly because there are so many events, sounds, changes going on all at one time. Some of the illustrations really give a believable feeling to the story...anger, fear, anticipation, and so on. This is definitely the kind of book you have to read more than once to catch everything. I'm a little overwhelmed. There are many references with which I am not familiar, so at times I feel a bit lost. What I do enjoy the most about this story is the irony, especially when a song or conversation is happening while an event completely contradicts that. I can't imagine the time and creativity it took to complete V for Vendetta. I can't wait to finish!

Dear Mr. Foster,

I have just recently finished reading a chapter in your novel, “How to Read Literature Like a Professor”, titled Flights of Fancy. When reflecting upon your suggestions, I realized that a story I also finished lately, “Death Defiar”, by Tom Bissell connects significantly to your theory proposed in Flights of Fancy. You wrote, “In general, flying is freedom, we might say, freedom is not only from specific circumstances but from those more general burdens that tie us down. It’s escape, the flight of imagination.” (127)
Quite literally, Bissell notes that the kites being flown in this recently seized and controlled village was now allowed to fly kites. “‘Now we are free, you see.’ He pointed at the sky…floating above…were, indeed, scores of kites.” (189) These kites represent the freedom this village has regained, which is blatantly clear. Although those in the village are free, the individuals flying the kites (only children), appear to be the only free people.
However, although my previous example fits so perfectly into your theory, there are some instances of where aircrafts are floating and flying overhead which do not seem to cooincide with your Flight and Fancy theory. This may be because we have no connection with the aircrafts, they are simply part of the setting, and not much is mentioned beyond the aspect of them flying by. We do, however, know that they are carrying missles and dangerous. Could this be symbolic of danger? Most aspects of freedom lie closely knit with the immediate locale of the main character, Donk, or directly within his thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Although not explicitly written in "Death Defiar", Donk travels from the United States to Afghanistan (and many places in between). And how do you suppose he made it from one place to such another far away place? An airplan. Flying oversees, quite possibly, could be Donk's attempt to escape his mental setbacks, his unhappy setbacks, and the death of his father. You wrote, "home is an island. The only way he's going to be able to leave is to cross a body of water, which is the most dramatic and final sort of home-leaving one can take" (132). Indeed, I believe this is an act of escape and slight sense of freedom for the scared character.
On a much more subtle note, (one that requires a deeper level of thinking) the main character of “Death Defiar”, Donk, unexpectedly and suddenly finds himself hovering the earth for a few moments shortly before his death. As you may see, there may not be such an obvious reason why the author sent him soaring to these heights; but if you look back to the story, Donk has an incredible fear of death. “He learned that the only thing that frightened him, truly frightened him, was quiet, because he knew death was quiet, the longest quiet.” (197) Death, in Donk’s case, is a “general burden that [ties him] down” he is consumed and horrified by even the thought of death. When this character is catapulted during the tragic final scene, he is suddenly disconnected from his fear of death and able to find some comfort in his few final thoughts. Donk is able to finally ESCAPE from his overwhelming world of paranoia and uncertainty.
And, so you see Mr. Foster, even more contemporary and lesser known works fit into your descriptions and theories. I will probably never read a story, watch a movie, or read any other type of literature the same way. Thanks for your interesting insights!

Sincerely,
Natasha A. Murdock

At the end of the story (as I stated in my previous journal entry, Henry does indeed face a big battle. In fact, he deals with a battle throughout the entire time. All of the characters deal with some sort of personal struggle. Henry deals with a choice. For the most part, he does an excellend job avoiding the task of making any type of decision. In fact, even his wife, Catherine, tells us that it is his turn to make a move. "If someone had to save the marriage a second time," she thinks,"it would have to be Henry" (98). His personal struggle is exceptionally difficult for him, I feel, because he is being pulled from both ends. His boss, for instance, supports his denial of responsibility. "...'You think you have to make a choice. You think you have to give up something. But you don't have to give up anything, Henry, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking rabbit." (94). Maybe, and this could be a stretch, Henry is taking hold of the rabbit in the end of the story is metaphorical for him taking the rabbits' side and making a decision. Maybe at this point he is ready to buckle down and choose between his home and his work in the city. I think that the rabbit infestation represents the need for him to support and acknowledge his family more. The more rabbits there are, the more he needs to be at home instead of away at work in the city. Who knows...the rabbits could be anything...

I just finished reading Stone Animals. Wow, where to begin? Well, let me start with the house that Henry and his family move into. The minute I began reading the story, I knew there was going to be something terribly wrong with it or something terrible was going to happen within it. It never seems like there is anything wrong with their new house besides the yard full of bouncing bunnies. Why doesn’t anyone in the story outside of their family feel that the abundance of rabbits is strange? Anyway, the strangeness seems to lie mostly within the family itself. Catherine lies to Henry, Henry never wants to be home and has a weird relationship with his boss, Carleton is constantly rejected by everyone, and Tilly hates everything and everyone.

The story makes me very confused about a lot of things that are going on. At first, I thought maybe that Catherine is a lunatic or maybe their neighbors are a delusion from all of the paint she inhales, and then I thought Henry is a ghost, now I am really not quite sure why Henry rides off on a big white rabbit ready for ambush. I also thought maybe that all the names there are for the paint colors and all the names Tilly gives for the baby have some sort of connection. For now, there is not much sense I can make of Stone Animals.

I was way too old for her. She just turned 18 years old. We sat in my dirt pick-up so we could have some privacy. That's where we always went to be alone. I gave her a crappy diary I bought from the dollar store down the street. She didn't even care it wasn't wrapped, and just pulled from my glove compartment a little bit covered in dirt. She was happy I thought of her. Simple things made her happy. That's the difference between her and my wife. We were driving down the old dirt road in Cheyenne, drinking some tequilla I bought for the occassion. I cracked open the twist-top when I realized who was coming down the road from the other direction. I put the bottle between my legs and pushed her head down where it couldn't be seen by my old woman.

"It's her", I said, "she keeps her lights on in the daytime. I can't think of a single habit in a woman that bothers me more than that."

I let go of the girl, didn't want her to think I was trying to hurt her.

"why does she?",she asked me as if concerned about the other woman.
"She thinks it's safer", and I went on to vent about my unhappy marriage.
"She'll see your lips move, Jack.", she was scared, "She'll know you're talking to someone."
"She'll think I'm singing along with the radio."

I honked the horn and waved as she slowly drove by me. I raced passed her, not really caring how fast I was driving. Cops don't come around this road often. I eased up a bit when she was out of sight. She'd flip out if she found out I've got a younger woman, and that I've kept it secret for a while now. If she hasn't figured out I've got a girlfriend by now, she may never know. She's probably too caught up in her stupid life to even suspect it. She's so predictable.

I sat for a while without talking, just listening to a tape playing on the deck. We talked about some unimportant things. She always brought up some random topics that no one my age would worry about--like pop-tops and stuff. Even though this girl was so much younger than I was, I knew what was going on. I was falling in love--we both knew it, but there is no way it could work out.

She had some false sense of hope that we'd grow old together (of course, I'd be much older) and have lots of babies. For such a young person, she had some grown-up things in her mind. It's pathetic, I know, but in the back of my mind I wanted to believe it. It's just the old ball-and-chain holding me back. I tried to play in off when she said in hopes, "In a year I'll write, 'Jack should be home by now. Little Jack is hungry for his supper.'", also something about loving me so much. Why does she love me? I'll never understand that. I looked away as I blew off her hopefull comments. She insisted she was right, I disagreed. I can't let her know how I truly feel.
__________________________________________________________________________

Being told this story through Jack's eyes carries a whole different set of sentiments than hearing it from the young girl. I'd imagine Jack, being an older man, would not focus so much on the details of her jeans or the way the diary looked. That's why I left a lot of dialogue and little descriptions out of my re-told story. He would, in my opinion, focus more on the feelings he was experiencing. We never truly know how Jack feels through the young girl's perspective. My take on it was that he had a lot of pent-up emotions about his wife. We do see a little of those feelings in the origional story. In any case, both characters know what's at stake is the future of their relationship. Unfortunately, we still do not have any idea what the outcome is of this love affair, although common sense would be that it doesn't last much longer.

It was a little difficult to write this short story through Jack's perspective because I couldn't imaging a grown man reflecting on a simple event such as this. A girl is more likely to reflect on her own 18th birthday. The girl was a much better choice because of the exaggerated feelings which a teenager would typically have during these few moments. Everybody knows teenagers blow everything out of proportion. I think that one of the main reasons this story was even written was because of the nature in which teens see ordinary instances. Although she sees him as a man with a tough exterior, I believe that there is some evidence of desires to persue a real relationship with the young girl.

I had to read this story twice because I did not "get it" the first time around. And after reading it a second time, I don't think I completely get it still. To me,there was a lot going on with the main character in "Until Gwen" as well as the other central characters. My initial reaction to it all was, "woah, that's crazy", but now I realize there were many bottled-up, negative emotions coming from the father and son.

Ultimately, I feel, that "Until Gwen" is a love/revenge/quest story. It was a quest because we believe we are just looking for the humongous diamond the size of our palm, but essentially we are looking for truth. We discover where the love of our life is buried and that our father does not have any sentimental value of us. We don't really see Gwen and ourselves fall in love, but we are given flashbacks of times when the couple is in a more comfortable state. And, of course, there is a tragic ending to their love story. Also, we seek revenge of our father. For one, he never had any answers for us about who we are and is also a decietful, cheating person. Also, we suspect or know (I'm not really sure if it is one or both throughout the whole story) that he murdered Gwen because of the daimond.

The best part of the story, though, is when we discover that the main character uses the super glue to stop-up his father's gun. When I read that the first time, I didn't even think twice about why he bought the glue and the knife. This was so cleverly writting by the author to fool me like that. Why did I not question the purchase of two very random objects?

I enjoyed reading "First Four Measures" more so than "Exercises for the Beginning Student". "First Four Measures" was a little bit comical for me because of the way the boy and Mrs. Spence bickered. It was typical that the young teanager would initially reject the idea of having an old lady invade his "alone" time, but it was cute to read that they sort-of become friends. I especially thought the carrides with Mrs. Spence was funny because I could just imaging the scene...I've been in a car with some pretty horrible drivers, and the picture of me squirming in my seat, I know, is probably Kodak-worthy. I did not know what to think of his piano instructor, Mr. Nichols, but I did feel badly for him in the end. That could have just been his style of teaching, but then again, it is a bit creapy. Mrs. Spence helped the boy become comfortable with an audience, and he gave her a little bit of his time, which probably made her feel much less lonley.

So, both stories we had to read dealt with pianos? A cooincidence? I think not. These two stories show how a central object can be used in different ways to exemplify different meanings. For example, in "First Four Measures", the piano was used to connect the teanager and Mrs. Spence. These two characters essentially have nothing in common and yet this piano enables them to create a strong bond (although neither of them realize it or wants to realize this). Mrs. Spence grows affectionate towards the boy's song. We see this when we read about her desiring to sit in the room next to him while he plays the song Mr. Nichols assigns him. In "Simple Exercises for the Beginning Student", Kevin uses the piano to disconnect him from the world around him. His "music" allows him to believe that he can accomplish something on his own. It also allows Rachel, his mother, to believe that she has a somewhat normal son with potential. Any similar object can be used in a story as a symbol or as a central character. For example, the holy grail in "The Da Vinci Code" is the "object" that many people desire to find for meaning and answers.

I wonder what was in Mrs. Spence's hat box???